According to Forbes, a psychologist is warning that being “too self-sufficient” is a major risk to mental and physical health, backed by peer-reviewed research. A large 2022 meta-analysis of 177 studies involving over 113,000 people found a strong link between low perceived social support and high feelings of loneliness. Furthermore, a 2018 systematic review clarified that this loneliness and poor support predict worse outcomes for depression, anxiety, and other psychiatric conditions over time. The research also connects social isolation to tangible physical risks, like a significantly higher risk of cardiovascular disease and mortality in older adults. The core argument is that while self-reliance is often praised, overusing it erodes well-being, relationships, and resilience.
The Loneliness Trap
Here’s the thing we often miss: that “strong” person who never asks for help isn’t just independent. They’re probably lonely. And I don’t mean a little lonely. The research cited shows they’re actively wiring their brain for chronic stress. We think they’re resilient, but they’re just in survival mode. It’s a classic case of something looking stable from the outside while it’s deteriorating on the inside. The article calls this “social self-neglect,” and that’s a perfect phrase for it. You’re basically neglecting a core human need—connection—because you’ve decided you shouldn’t need it. But the data doesn’t lie: your mind pays the cost.
Resilience Is A Team Sport
This was the real kicker for me. We’re sold this idea that resilience is all about personal grit, right? Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. But the research flips that on its head. True psychological resilience is “often impossible to build alone.” Think about that. By refusing to share burdens, you’re not proving how strong you are; you’re cutting yourself off from the very resource that helps you regulate your emotional load. You become less able to bounce back. Sure, self-management skills are important, but the most crucial one is knowing when to stop managing by yourself. Otherwise, you just reinforce the unhealthy belief that you have to handle everything alone—a belief that, ironically, leaves you weaker.
The Long-Term Physical Toll
We can sometimes brush off mental health arguments, but the physical health risks are harder to ignore. This isn’t just about feeling stressed today. When self-sufficiency tips into sustained isolation, you’re increasing your long-term risk profile for serious issues. The article links it to cardiovascular disease and higher mortality. That’s staggering. It’s easy to not notice the risk because the “self-sufficient” person often looks like the most stable one in the room. They’re not causing drama, they’re just quietly handling everything. But problems accumulate. You’re trading short-term control for long-term vulnerability, and your body keeps the score. It’s a bad deal.
Why We Do It And How To Stop
So why do people get stuck in this cycle? The article points to personality, upbringing, culture, and a big one: fear of being a burden. That fear makes connection feel optional and vulnerability feel dangerous. Self-sufficiency *feels* safer. But it’s a halfway solution. Recovery and emotional regulation require more. The good news is the article suggests you don’t have to ditch independence entirely—you just need to balance it. The first step is recognizing that asking for help isn’t a failure of self-reliance; it’s a smart use of a shared resource. Basically, it’s about upgrading your strategy from “only me” to “me and my network.” Your well-being will probably thank you for it.
